I am trying to become a "love and logic" parent (as Addie has started her temper tantrums and testing the limits), and the book has a really interesting point... this of course makes sense, but I never thought about it this way:
"The more we rescue our kids from everything they encounter, they more they end up hating us in the long run. Ironic... you treat your kids well- you do everything for them- and they end up treating you badly! Why? Because when we continually rescue our kids, they become dependent on us, which eventually fills them with resentment. This syndrome is called 'hostile dependency'. When kids are forced to be dependent on someone, they become resentful, because down deep, every human being yearns to be free, competent, and independent. Down deep they know their mother crippled them. Now they hate her for it."
This is not referring to keeping your kids captive and making them plead for food. He is talking about little things, like giving in when your child wants soda, getting between children while fighting, doing homework or projects for kids, etc. Its not big things. How interesting! A parent in this situation probably feels that they have done EVERYTHING for this child, and yet the child says, "You never did anything for me. You never cared!"
That's my thought on parenting for today... :)
End of year recap
January 6th the girls did a great job on their piano recital. January 7th Olivia did French Club. January 11th Olivia had her first basketba...
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We got to make a trip to Disneyland with the Moss family. Grandma and Grandpa Moss, Grandma Stephens, Christine and Michael, Alyssa, Jake an... -
Trick-or-Treat!! Our Halloween was eventful... we carved pumpkins... (although Addie did not want to touch the "guts", she just... -
So it has been pretty obvious that I have been MIA. A lot has happened in the last couple months. I wanted to write all about it, but in rea...
4 comments:
Good thought...just what I needed today. (for my 'you know who's')
I love your coments. I wish I had known this when my girls were growing up. Altho I don't think any of them resent me, but it might have helped them to raise their kids. I am thinking of Cayle and Brandi. Brandi think her mom didn't do anything for her. Love ya and it sure looks like you are doing a wonderful job. Love GG
Sar- You always have a nice pick me up when I need one. I am so excited to see you in a few weeks. I love ya ton
Ooo.. that is good. And I really believe it! I remember being taught some stuff like that. But I need a parenting book. When you are in the moment sometimes it's hard to figure out what is best to do!
And thanks for offering the penguin costume.. I just might take you up on the offer! I will hopefully know what I am doing by Monday! :) THANKS!
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